Cadbury Crazy

Without question, Easter has the best candy of all the holidays. All the other holidays just take the same candies and dress them up in different colored wrappers. Think about it. At Easter we get Robin Eggs, Reese’s Eggs, Peeps, those mini Cadbury chocolate eggs with the candy shell, and the crème-de-la-crème, the Cadbury Cream Egg. It’s a good thing we only see those once a year. If not I’d be making three cream egg omelets for breakfast every morning, weigh 300 pounds and have no teeth. But what do we get on the other holidays? Christmas? Chocolate Santa’s. Great, a Nestle Crackle in the shape of a fat guy, what a treat. Halloween? They shrink candy bars to a fifth of normal size and then call it “Fun”! That’s not fun! That’s robbery! Thanksgiving? Nada. Well, maybe Candy Corns, but who likes eating paraffin wax? Ok, actually I do. I don’t really like Candy Corns but I can’t stop eating them if they’re on the table. I think the white tip is actually a rock of crack. Not that I know that crack is white. Is it, because I don’t know…I’m just saying…it’s hard to stop eating them…that’s all. Valentines Day has some originality. People like to give those heart shaped boxes of mystery chocolates. Or as Jim Gaffigan calls them, Gamble Chocolates. “Eeww, I got the one filled with toothpaste!” But really, can we compare that to even a caramel Cadbury Egg? I don’t think so. So Easter, I salute you and your candy. Thanks to you I’m carrying around eight extra pounds. Huzzah!

5 thoughts on “Cadbury Crazy

  1. Call Me June...

    Okay, this made me laugh out loud! Well done you freaky candy connoisseur! (I had to type that into a Word Document and run spell check to get the correct spelling! Don’t want to nake anymore mistakes!)

  2. Peter

    You mentioned Peeps® in you list of goodness. Are you ranking them up at the same level as say… robin eggs? Don’t get me wrong I like Peeps®, they’re great for making all paper Post it Notes™! and they add great arch support in my loafers (no I dont own loafers but I love to type it) But other that that I have trouble find a use for Peeps®. Besides the occasional.. “Yo, a shout out to my Peeps®!” visual joke. BTW… I’m I the last idiot still honking as I drive by your house? Or are there others?

  3. Ando

    I can’t say whether or not you are the last idiot, but others still honk when they pass my house. Unless you spend your evenings driving back-n-forth on my street…which I wouldn’t put past you.

    And lay off the Peeps!

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