When you really think about it, writing a blog is a pretty narcissistic thing to do. Think about it. Here I am, an expert on nothing, espousing my thoughts and judgements on everything from sports to world affairs to homeless weed whackers. I have, at the very best, only cursory knowledge of these topics and yet I monopolize a slice of the rapidly decreasing bandwidth of the web in order to broadcast them to every unsuspecting victim who might be innocently ambling about cyberspace. To make matters worse, I bombard my friends and family with eMails proclaiming the arrival of my blog-o-rific insights. It’s like I’m the crazy aunt who is trying to push Amway on everyone in the family. What possible kernal of wisdom do I hope to reveal to the apparently naive internet viewing public? What insights do I think I can impart? Who died and made me the world’s first blogging Sports Illustrated, Ryrie Study Bible, Encyclopedia, USA Today, and Bathroom Reader? Why do I feel that what I have to say about anything is worthy of being read by anyone other than my wife, who, ironically, rarely actually reads my blog?

I won’t even mention the fact that blogging has turned me into a raving page-hit maniac, except that I just did. Adding a counter to a blog is the worst possible thing you can do, besides actually having a blog. It’s like the point of no return. It’s turned me into some kind of psychotic OCD freak (my apologies to actual psychotic OCD freaks). I’m like the lone gunman who always has to buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye. I have to keep checking back on my blog to see how many hits I’ve gotten since I last checked five minutes ago. But wait, all this checking is artificially inflating my counter! I can’t have artificially inflated counter numbers! It’s wrong! It’s dishonest! What am I going to do! The next step is the death nell…the site monitor. Not only does this tell me how many hits I’ve had, on a seperate web page, but also where they came from, how long they were here, what browser they used, where their computer is physically located on the planet, and the resolution of their monitor! It’s like blog crack! Blogs are like crack! I can’t stop! Somebody help me!



4 thoughts on “READ MY BLOG!

  1. home-maker

    I do have to say thank you for indroducing my husband to this new world. I can now expect a recital of all the new blogs when he arrives home from work and an update on who’s blog as the most hits.Which I do believe his selfworth is now tied to. Plus he no longer comes to bed with me due to the fact that he must write his blog for the next day.

  2. kludge

    Ando- I’m not sure what to say other than your right on. I almost choked to death on my own tongue laughing at this post. I’m not sure what’s worse, being this addicted, or spending hours on something that next to no one looks at. But as you said, it’s like crack you can’t just quit.

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