As a regular reader of Life of Ando, you may recall my recounting of my 10 year high school reunion last week (if you’re not a regular reader click here for all the juicy details). You will also recall a little fun I had making up a story about how I imbibed a little too much and did crazy stuff. Ok, good. Now we may begin today’s story.
Every Thursday during Survivor season, Jen, Jackson, and I go over to Jen’s folks’ house for dinner and the show. When we came into the house this past Thursday my father-in-law, Gordon, said he wanted to talk to me about something and told me to have a seat. A couple things about Gordon before I continue. First of all we get along famously. If Jen and her mom are off shopping, Gordon and I will get together to watch a movie or a sporting event of some sort. We share a common interest in history, and enjoy conversations about what’s currently going on in the world. Gordon is a man’s man, despite his enjoyment of The Golden Girls. He loves a good joke, has a hilarious often off-the-wall sense of humor, and is cutting up about 90% of the time. But he has very strong convictions, and if he believes something to be wrong, he’s not afraid to say so to anyone. His values and standards would be considered “old-school” by a lot of people, but we happen to agree on an awful lot. He’s about 6’4″ with a goatee. When he wants to he can look and be pretty dang tough. Oh one more thing; he’s also a Marine Vietnam veteran.
As I’m making my way over to the chair he says, “I heard something about you that was on the Internet.” My first thought was he had read my blog about my current, uh, interest, shall we say, in Jenna Fischer who plays Pam Beesly on The Office (click here for all those juicy details). I expected a severe, and deserved, razzing. He continued, “It was something about last Saturday night? Going out late downtown or something?” By now I knew what he was talking about. I figured he must have seen the post and was messing around with me.
“Oh, yeah. That was me. I was down there.”, I reply grinning like an idiot.
“Was there something about ‘Viva Mexico’ or something and jumping up on tables?”
“Yup, that was me. It was pretty crazy.”
He’s starting to look pretty serious at this point, but I know this is his game and I’m not going to be the one that breaks. I know he’s just messing with me. However, I was starting to have thoughts that maybe someone I know had seen me that night and gotten the wrong idea and emailed him or something. I was trying to think of any possible incriminating-looking occurrences that may have been observed, but I couldn’t come up with any. No one in our group had done anything crazy, so, yeah, he’s just messing with me.
“Why would you do something like that?”
“Hey, I gotta represent Mexico, you know.”
Then it got really serious. His face was the sternest I’d ever seen it and his voice was switching into I’m-really-angry mode. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “What’s wrong with you? You don’t go out and do things like that. You’re a married man. That’s my daughter!”
Up to this point Jen hadn’t been paying any attention, but that caught her ear. “What’s going one?” she said.
Gordon continued, “You shouldn’t be out doing stuff like that. Why would you do that? What’s the matter with you?”
“Dad, nothing happened.” Jen said, starting to get a little concerned.
“No, he doesn’t need to be out doing this kind of stuff.”
At this point, I don’t know if he’s messing with me. In fact I’m pretty convinced he’s dead-serious. I could feel sweat starting to bead up on my forehead and am suddenly very uncomfortable in this once very cozy chair. He’s still staring at me dead in the eye. I don’t know what he’s heard, or from whom, but I better set the record straight before I end up nothing more than a stain on the rug and crew cut. “You know that was all a joke, right?” I whimper.
He points a long finger at me and says, “Gotcha!” then breaks into a grin.
Yeah, he totally owned me. Apparently my brother-in-law Pete had read the post, and called up Gordon and put one over on him by saying I had really done all the stuff I wrote. Once Pete revealed the truth, Gordon decided to have a little fun with me. He’s very proud of himself and rightfully so. He said he could see the moment of realization on my face. All I have to say is, Gordon, bravo! And Pete, you better watch your back.