My life is pretty good. I’ve been going through something of a minor 2/5 life crisis of late, mostly relating to my job and if I want to continue doing the cruise control thing, or is it time to grow up and try something a little (or a lot) more challenging. Don’t worry though, I’m not looking for a sports car or comtemplating hair plugs. I’ll leave that to the 40-somethings. But I’ll admit I was feeling a little sorry for myself. But you know what? That’s a pretty freaking stupid thing to do. I’ll be 29 in about two weeks and I have a good job, I own my own home, I have incredible friends and an awesome family who actually enjoy each others company, I have a loyal and encouraging blog readership and a woman who, for some unexplained reason, has agreed to spend the rest of her life with me. Personally, I think she may be insane. Why God has been so good to me, I have no idea.
But sometimes I wonder, is there something big and scary looming just around the corner? Can life really be this easy? Should it be? Nothing really bad has ever happened to me. I’ve lost two grandfathers over the last few years, and while it was sad and I do miss them, they had lived long and full lives. So I wouldn’t call those losses, as hard as they are, tragic. And so I wonder if God has got something in the future that will shake things, and me, up. And how will I respond?
Don’t think that I walk around in a paranoid trance all day, shuddering everytime I cross a busy intersection or breaking into a cold sweat everytime the phone rings. I don’t lie awake at night afraid to close my eyes because of what I might wake up to the next morning. That’s not the case at all. When these thoughts do cross my brain, I think about how I should respond and whether or not I can. I guess it’s a kind of mental calistenics. As good as life is right now, and as much as I am able to enjoy it, the knowledge that things can change instantly with a 3AM phone call is not an unhealthy thing to consider. For me at least. I think God uses it a). as a catalyst for thanksgiving to Him for all He has blessed me with, and b). as preperation for the unexpected.
Things aren’t apple pie and lemonade all the time. There’s the occasional bump in the road, but no “Bridge Out” signs yet. What problems I do encounter seem so infintesimally small compared to a lot of what I see in the world around me, that it makes me feel a little guilty sometimes. I know that God has a plan for everybody and some plans are going to seem like the Gold Plan while others seem like the Pile o’ Crap Plan, and it’s hard to reconcile that sometimes. Why has my path been so smooth, while a friend has had seemingly no path at all? That’s not a question I can answer easily. We know that all things work together for good for those that love God (Rom. 8:28). But there’s no timetable on that promise. It may be a lifetime of hardship before the good comes together. And to love God means following His commands and remaining faithful in the bad times.
As thankful as I am now for the ease of my life this first 29 years, my hope is that when and if things take a turn for the worse, as the world would see it, that I would remain just as thankful then. This is pretty heavy stuff for the Life of Ando, but it is afterall the life of Ando and as you regulars are all too aware, that’s what you’re going to get.