Bill Simmons is stealing my work!  Honest, I really think he is.  In his latest column about the NCAA tournament, after extolling the greatness of Gus Johnson, he lists six things he loved and six things he hated about last weekends action.  Among the six hated was this:

4. The Hanes commercial featuring MJ and Kevin Bacon: Somehow I did a running diary for all of Thursday and half of Friday without stumbling across this ad once. Then Friday night rolled around and it was on constantly. Um … what the hell is going on in this commercial? Why these two guys? What do they have in common? Why does the ad kinda make it seem like they’re dating? More importantly, when did Jordan reach the point of his career where he had to slum it in underwear ads with the dude from “Footloose”? Doesn’t he have enough money? I’ll be honest: This commercial freaks me out.

Did I not express very similar sentiments about this very unsettling ad no less than three months ago!  What a jerk.

To prove my higher degree of professional courtesy, I will provide you with a link to his full column.  It was decent.  For him.  Especially this line:

If somebody tells me they don’t like Gus, I’m not even sure how to react. They might as well tell me, “Yeah, sometimes I like to save dogs from the pound, then murder them with my bare hands.”


Here’s a clip (YouTube wouldn’t let me embed it) from the Xavier-Ohio St. game featuring the great Gus Johnson (for the uninformed he’s the play-by-play guy) in rare form.


5 thoughts on “Plagarist

  1. The nerve of that guy! :)

    I like that Kevin Bacon is so unimportant that he can’t even use his name, he’s just that ‘dude’ from Footloose!

    The dog bit is great. I’d pay him back and steal that for *your* post!

  2. CBS has a way of piling on the same commercials until their engrained in your skull… and yes, the Jordan/Bacon ordeal is one of the more offending commercials.

  3. Mom

    I would warn him never to use your material again or you will charge him … your stuff is better … … hey you better start copywriting everything you put on here … DAD

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