Observations From the Express Lane and Other Nonesense

empty_shopping_cart.jpgWhen:  A couple weeks ago on a Friday evening

Where:  Longs Drugs (again)

Who:  older woman, probably early sixties

What:  One box Orville Redenbackers Smart Pop microwave popcorn, two large jugs Seagram’s rum.

Looks like someones got one wild Friday night planned.

(Previous observations)

 *****

  • What would I do for a Klondike bar?
  • Fine print I recently read on an Allstate Insurance TV ad, “Not available in every state.”
  • Horatio Sans what?  Thinness?
  • Why is it that things that are hard turn soft when they go stale, and things that are soft turn hard?
  • Why do people continue to write checks at the grocery store?
  • Does any one care whether or not an unwitnessed tree falling in the woods makes a sound?
  • I don’t care what anybody else says, sour cream is disgusting.
  • You know what’s not disgusting?  Fajitas.
  • I think Pat Sajak may be an elf or a sprite or something.
  • Prediction:  the Internet will become a huge hit one day.  But not in our lifetime.
  • None of the other five varieties of Mt. Dew can touch the original.
  • For the record the other five are Code Red, Livewire, Pitch Black, Game Fuel, and Baja Blast (only available at Taco Bell).
  • Yes, that was from memory.
  • Vladimir Guerrero is awesome and a bargain at $14 million a year.
  • Prediction:  All those nifty CFL lightbulbs that are all the rage right now, will cause major panic in the next five to ten years when they all burn out and start filling up landfills with deadly mercury. 
  • I have nothing left to say.
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5 thoughts on “Observations From the Express Lane and Other Nonesense

  1. Jennylu

    Why do people continue to write checks at the grocery store?

    ‘cuz I lost my credit card a couple of months ago’

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