The First Time

They say you always remember your first time.  I know I do.

Jen and I hadn’t been married long.  I’m not sure how long, but the air was still warm out so it was probably in September.  It was a Monday.  I had just gotten home from an evening of basketball.  I came up stairs, hot and sweaty, ready to take a shower.  Jen was in the bathroom getting ready for bed.  I walked into the bathroom and we started chit-chatting about the day while she brushed her hair.  As we wrapped up our conversation, I looked deep into her dark brown eyes, said, “I love you” and leaned in for a kiss.  As I leaned toward her, I heard what sounded like a short bugle call.  Only it wasn’t a bugle.  I don’t know if it was my tired muscles or the sudden leaning forward, but my muscles relaxed and a sound as natural as a baby’s laugh (but not quite as beloved) slipped out.  And that was the first time I farted in front of my wife.  They say you always remember your first.  Is that what they mean?

5 thoughts on “The First Time

  1. kludge

    Patricia and I were dating. I was being silly, and picked her up.


    I dropped her on her duff and ran out of the room. She found me in a corner looking repulsed. It took about 5 mins for her to convince me that she wasn’t disgusted and get me out of the corner.

    A day we will never forget.

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