Last week Jen made a purchase that is sure to shorten my lifespan. Its not the sort of thing that will take you out in an instant, but will slowly and surely nibble away at your longevity, one piece at a time. She bought a bag of 50 precooked bacon slices. Now every time I go to the fridge, sometimes not even looking for something to eat, just a cool beverage, I come face to face with temptation. The main thing keeping me from consuming heart stopping amounts of bacon on a regular basis is the effort it takes to make it. The raw bacon is slimy and kind of gross to touch, you’ve gotta fire up the stove, there’s grease everywhere that has to be cleaned up; its no coincidence that the effort to prepare it is commensurate with the damage it does to your insides. Otherwise, we’d all be dead.
But this new developement in bacon presentation is very alarming. It takes the built in safety feature completely out of the equation. Most times I don’t even take the time to heat it up in the microwave. Yes, I eat cold bacon, sue me.
So, its a constant battle. On the one hand, there’s the prospect of clogged arteries, love handles, and heart disease. But on the other hand, there’s delicious, delicisou bacon. It’s a losing battle really.
My advice to you: avoid at all costs. You can’t beat bacon. You just can’t. You don’t need to feel bad about it, its just one of those facts of life. So the only course to take, is to just walk on by you local grocer’s salted pork product aisle. It’s either that or bacon for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every thing in between. Man, what a way to go.