Problem Solved

This isn’t what I intended on posting today, but the news was too fantastic not to share with the world.  I received this important and life altering email just minutes ago.  Looks like my corrections officer dilema is solved.

From: Jerome Kerviel
Paris-La Defense.

My name is JEROME KERVIEL, a ROGUE TRADER in charge of VANILLA FUTURES HEDGING FOR EUROPEAN EQUITY MARKETS with Societe Generale Bank Paris France. I got your contact through cross border business information centre situated here in Paris and picked interest on you after going through your profile for a mutual benefit.

I don’t know if you have been conversant with invents lately as regards to my case with my bank (Societe Generale), if you are unaware, please point your cursor on the following TIMESONLINE associate web-link to be better briefed.

[Link removed]

From the above, you will understand that I was accused of loosing 7.1 Billion Dollars while serving my bank.

The truth of the matter is that I was used as an escape goat to cover my superiors who happens to be the master minders over the deal. Our bank Societe Generale has insurance premium worth three times the sum reported to be lost, with French National Insurance Commission and they sees no other way of claiming the sum to favour the bank financially other than using me to cover the plot. The deal was successful following a reward of USD 32,500,000:00 (Thirty Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) to me.

The above sum was successfully secured into a bank account in my name in Nassau Bahamas according to my superior’s directives, but I have been warned by my superiors not to use my name for the lodgment of the said sum in the bank as that will jeopardize the whole transaction and possibly expose all, because investigation later widened to my personal cell phone records to explore possible links to other individuals working at rival banks and private investment firms who may be involved.  But luckily there is no traceable information that link to the Bahamas bank. And I do not have an international contact to assist me in accommodating the funds until I am able to file in my resignation and contact you back to take my share.

So I write to seek your immediate assistance to help me have the account be changed into your name immediately to forestall any trace of the funds. And I would permit you absolute control to invest the sum as stated above for me temporarily while I prepare to take my resignation in the near future.

If you are interested please provide me with the following in return mail:

YOU’RE NAME IN FULL
YOUR OFFICE OR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
TEL AND FAX NUMBER

As soon as I hear from you, I will introduce you to my lawyer’s colleague in the UK that would communicate and receive your data’s on my behalf as I would not like to appear in this transaction for security and confidential reasons. 

I look forward for your urgent response.

Sincerely,
Jerome Kerviel.

I can’t believe this is happening to me.  What a world!

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3 thoughts on “Problem Solved

  1. What luck! Better hurry and respond though, because an offer like that doesn’t come everyday… oh wait.

    Fortunately I get multiple offers like this every day. Fortunately.

  2. What a coincidence! I’ve never heard of such a thing. Usually I get offers from somebody in Nigeria, but never ever from a Parisian.

    Sounds legit to me.

  3. Pingback: Christmas Comes Early « Life of Ando

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