Item #1 – Vegetables
Do they really scare me? Well, no. Maybe this one. A few of them I actually enjoy. But in the very near future, like, Monday, I better learn to enjoy them a whole lot more. I have agreed to join my wife in doing something called the Whole30. If you haven’t heard of it (and I hadn’t until about a week ago; oh how quickly our fortunes can change), it’s a
torturous healthy eating plan where you eschew the delicious evil foods we all enjoy, like sugar, dairy, grains, and everyone’s favorite, legumes. You do this for 30 days and by the end you supposedly feel amazing. After the 30 days, you can gradually start adding those evil things back into your diet, in moderation of course. I guess the idea is to detox, break bad eating habits, and shock your body out of it’s cravings for all that junk.
I’ll be the first to admit, my eating habits are pretty terrible. I’m certainly not above washing down a few doughnuts with a Mountain Dew, usually at 2 AM. So, I’m sure this will be a good thing for us and the kids, who will be doing a modified version. Still, I’m terrified. We have a few friends that will be doing it at the same time, so maybe there will be strength in numbers. Still…terrifying.
So this week I’ve pretty much been on a mission to eat as much horrible-for-me food as is humanly possible. Exhibit A: the two corn dogs I’m eating this very moment. And I may or may not have eaten a bacon-cheese hot dog and fries for dinner a few scant hours earlier. And I can neither confirm nor deny, that was preceded by an Oreo McFlurry.
Yeah, maybe this Whole30 thing isn’t such a bad idea. I mean, I would like to be alive when my kids graduate. From elementary school.
Fortunately, bacon and eggs are on the approved foods list. This is basically how I plan on getting through the month:
I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. If I don’t slip into a spinach induced coma.
Item #2 – The Wife Video
My wife recently turned…a different age. For my own safety I won’t say what the different age is, but know that she does not look it. When someone does manage to deduce the number of years she has graced the planet Earth with her presence, they are always surprised she isn’t younger. In honor of her age turning, I produced this little video for her. She’s embarassed I put it on YouTube and Facebook, but she’s amazing and I don’t care who knows it.
There was a time when I made videos like this on a regular basis. Even had a little side business for a while. I miss doing it and enjoyed putting this one together for her. Maybe I’ll get back at it.
Item #3 – Milkshakes
I’m really going to miss drinking milkshakes. Like, a lot.
Item #4 – 15 Minutes
I recently had my very own 15 Minutes of Fame. I can’t really get into specifics about it here. All I can say is that I never expected it to involve a goat.
Random song lyric of the day
Like you’ve got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There’s always someone out there cooler than you
I know that’s hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They’re into something that is too big to be
Through their clothes
And they’ll put up with all the poses you throw
And you won’t
-Ben Folds – Cooler Than You