Category: express lane

Observations From the Express Lane Redux

On By AndoIn express lane, the LifeLeave a comment

empty_shopping_cart.jpgBack in the heyday of Life of Ando, say, the mid-aughts, I used to do a regular little feature, if you can call it that, on strange purchase observations at the grocery/drug store checkout line.  In the intervening lean blogging years I made a few observations I wish I’d shared with the fine readers of LoA, dwindled as their numbers may have been.  The only I remember was a gnarly looking old biker buying a lot of chili and a lot of prunes.

Like a lot of things around here, Observations From the Express Lane is getting a thourough dusting off.  And so I hereby present to you, the latest in what hopefully will be a continuing tradition.

When:  Today

Where:  Safeway

Who:  Me

What:  Three 12-packs Diet Mountain Dew, one 12-pack regular Mountain Dew, one package braunschweiger, one large bottle distilled white vinegar.

(Previous observations)

Observations From The Express Lane: Autobiography

On By AndoIn express lane, nonsense, random1 Comment

More than once here on the Life of Ando I’ve relayed my observations on odd item combinations at the local grocery checkout stand.  Well, tonight I have to report on my own purchases and how they must have looked to my fellow checkout-line mates.

When:  Tonight

Where:  Safeway

Who:  Me

What:  Three jars turkey and rice baby food, one box Life cereal, largest jug of liquid dishwasher detergent available, lemon scent

(Previous observations)

Observations From the Express Lane and Other Nonesense

On By AndoIn express lane, nonsense, random5 Comments

empty_shopping_cart.jpgWhen:  A couple weeks ago on a Friday evening

Where:  Longs Drugs (again)

Who:  older woman, probably early sixties

What:  One box Orville Redenbackers Smart Pop microwave popcorn, two large jugs Seagram’s rum.

Looks like someones got one wild Friday night planned.

(Previous observations)

 *****

  • What would I do for a Klondike bar?
  • Fine print I recently read on an Allstate Insurance TV ad, “Not available in every state.”
  • Horatio Sans what?  Thinness?
  • Why is it that things that are hard turn soft when they go stale, and things that are soft turn hard?
  • Why do people continue to write checks at the grocery store?
  • Does any one care whether or not an unwitnessed tree falling in the woods makes a sound?
  • I don’t care what anybody else says, sour cream is disgusting.
  • You know what’s not disgusting?  Fajitas.
  • I think Pat Sajak may be an elf or a sprite or something.
  • Prediction:  the Internet will become a huge hit one day.  But not in our lifetime.
  • None of the other five varieties of Mt. Dew can touch the original.
  • For the record the other five are Code Red, Livewire, Pitch Black, Game Fuel, and Baja Blast (only available at Taco Bell).
  • Yes, that was from memory.
  • Vladimir Guerrero is awesome and a bargain at $14 million a year.
  • Prediction:  All those nifty CFL lightbulbs that are all the rage right now, will cause major panic in the next five to ten years when they all burn out and start filling up landfills with deadly mercury. 
  • I have nothing left to say.